Rewriting Narratives: Embracing Our Strengths

Rewriting Narratives: Embracing Our Strengths

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I will start today echoing the wisdom of one of my favorite actresses, Lucille Ball: “Loving yourself is the cornerstone of achieving anything in this world.”

Have you ever found yourself defining who you are by the toughest challenges you've been through? How does it feel? For me, it's like wearing a badge of honor for surviving life's curveballs. Yet, truth be told, it's more like a heavy weight on our shoulders, dragging us down with every step we take.

So, let me pose this question: What if we flipped the script? What if, instead of dwelling on our past hurts, and experiences we celebrated our victories and embraced our strengths? It may seem like a radical idea, but stick with me – it's worth exploring.

Imagine the liberation that comes from acknowledging our resilience and focusing on the positives. Let's invite ourselves to a journey of self-discovery, where we honor our triumphs and embrace the strengths that define us. Together, let's rewrite our narratives and pave the way for a brighter, more empowering future.

I’m splitting this topic into two blog posts. Today, let's talk about how we sometimes let the tough stuff define us. You know, the heartbreaks, the failures, the traumas those moments that knock us flat. See this is the problem, when we allow them to define us, they gain too much power over our present and future. It's like we're stuck in the shadows, never stepping into the light.

Let's talk about a few different topics. 

On the topic of Identifying With the Situation or Experience: I will pose some questions to get you thinking:

Am I getting wrapped up in the negativity of a bad situation or experience? Am I wearing it as a badge, and letting it define who I am? Am I allowing them to affect my sense of self?

Pause for a moment and think:

When we identify ourselves with something negative that happened, we might internalize the event as part of our identity. For example, if someone experiences a failure or a traumatic event, they might begin to see themselves primarily as a failure or a victim, which can profoundly impact their self-esteem and self-image.

In my case, I experienced a life-altering auto accident at the age of fifteen, which left me paraplegic. But I didn't let that define me. After the accident, I just kept moving forward and built a life, what many might call a "normal" life. I got married, raised children, pursued education, established a career, and secured emotional and financial stability. I share this not to boast, but to illustrate the profound impact of releasing labels and moving ahead regardless.

On the Topic of Shame and Guilt: Here are some questions to get you thinking: Am I drowning in shame and guilt? Am I having a hard time shaking off that weight? Am I stuck in a cycle of self-blame and negativity? Pause there for a moment and think:

Identifying with a negative event can lead us to feelings of shame and guilt. We may feel entirely responsible for what happened, even if the circumstances were beyond our control. This can lead us to a cycle of self-blame and negative self-talk, which is detrimental to our self-esteem.

As a type A personality, I tend to be very hard on myself. When I make mistakes, I sometimes feel overwhelmed by waves of shame and guilt, as if I were solely responsible for the sky falling. Even when the fault isn't entirely mine.  Moments of introspection have helped me recognize when I'm sinking into that behavior. I'm learning every day to pause and redirect my energy toward a more positive direction. I'm not going to pretend it's easy, but the point is, it can be done. Of course, it requires practice and a genuine willingness to embrace change.

On the Topic of Impact on Self-Worth: Here are some questions to get you thinking: Am I associating myself with the bad stuff and is that taking a toll on my self-worth? Am I feeling like I’m not good enough, like I don't deserve better?

Here is the thing, if we constantly associate ourselves with negative events it can significantly impact our sense of self-worth. It can lead us to feelings of inadequacy, unworthiness, and a diminished sense of value. If we continue to allow and feed into that negativity it can have far-reaching effects on various aspects of our lives, including relationships, work, and overall well-being.

These are the types of thoughts I purposely blocked. I love that Native American tale about feeding the good wolf instead of the bad wolf. Which one do you want to get stronger? The one you feed the most will get stronger.

On the Topic of Limiting Beliefs: Here are some questions to get you thinking: Am I convinced that my bad experiences will define my future? Am I letting a past betrayal convince me I’m unlovable or that I can't trust anyone? Pause for a moment and think:

Identifying with a negative event can also lead to the development of limiting beliefs about who we are and the world. These beliefs can shape our future experiences and interactions, potentially leading to self-sabotage and missed opportunities for growth and happiness, if we allow it.

I'm all for giving things a chance. Sometimes, an opportunity resonates with us instantly, while at other times, past experiences try to hold us back from seizing what's in front of us. The past serves its purpose; it's our teacher. Yet, we must acknowledge that the world progresses, and with an awareness of the past and history, we should reassess the present to ensure we don't overlook new blessings.

On the Topic of Difficulty Moving On: Here are some questions to get you thinking: Am I holding on to the past? Am I stuck in a loop of replaying what went wrong, making it hard to move forward? Pause and think.

When we identify ourselves with something bad that happened, it can be challenging to move on and let go of the past. This can hinder the healing process and prevent us from fully engaging in the present moment and creating a better future for ourselves.

I consistently assess my current emotional state. When I feel unhappy, I turn inward and examine what might be holding me back. I attempt to determine if fear is the culprit, causing me to dwell on the past, and hinder my progress.

Since I was young, I have chosen to firmly hold the belief that I can overcome any challenge. Life throws us curveballs, yet without a mindset focused on overcoming obstacles, we risk being trapped in misery, oblivious to the beauty that awaits us in the world.

As we conclude this blog, remember, it's just the beginning of our journey into this topic. In our next segment, we'll delve deeper into how to flip the script. Instead of dwelling on past pains, we'll celebrate our victories and embrace our strengths. Identifying ourselves with our successes and strengths can truly be a game-changer. So, stay tuned for the second part of this blog—it's going to be enlightening!

Continue your introspective journey until we connect again!

PS: Do you like this blog? Please share it and check out Mon Espace+, our rapidly growing platform of self-care collaborators. With our community of like-minded individuals, you'll have access to a wealth of resources, support, and inspiration to help you on your journey. And don't forget to check out my corner in the Self-Help Category - Your Upward Journey: It's Easier Than You Think! with my informal guidance, you'll be well on your way to becoming the best version of yourself.

A special thanks to my amazing brother-in-law for allowing me to use one of his exclusive photographs to illustrate this blog! Luv ya Alvaro Donatti. We can start creating these beauties as well!