Everyday we face challenges. We seek explanations to make us feel better and justify our emotions.
Rejection is a big one. Big or small, we cannot take it lightly when we are rejected. I thought about all the emotions that follow after feeling rejected and considered a few tools to plow through the aftermath of a rejection.
First thought: When we first feel rejected there is a sense of disregard. It does not seem like a big deal. We forget however, that a maleficent seed was planted, which takes no time to start growing roots. At this point acknowledging the seed will grow puts us on notice of the emotions that follow.
Crushed ego: Feeling rejected causes the misguided idea we are not good enough, did not pass muster, others are better and more worthy. It fuels insecurities and low self-esteem leading to a depressed feeling. After feeling like we were knocked to the ground, we begin to fight the negative combination of emotions by diminishing the value of the person or opportunity that prior to the rejection were appealing to us.
Shame: We look around and think about the peers who will know about the rejection. We feed the misconception that others are paying attention to the fact we were rejected.
Anger: We now dwell on the rejection and feel angry at the person who rejected us or the world at large. We try to inflate our ego back up by looking down on the rejector. How dare you?
Wakeup call: We slumbered preoccupied with all these disturbing emotions and did not notice that the seed is now a full-grown invasive weed that has overshadowed our peace and has thrown us off balance.
Back to center: Rejection is part of life. It hurts more resisting the existence of rejections than accepting it as another natural occurrence. Let it be.
Back to balance: Focus on perspective. In the grand scheme of things what has rejection caused? Compare what we did not gain, and what we have lost, if anything. An all or nothing mindset forgets there is a load of options in between. One door that closes either because of a “personal or opportunity rejection” means that it is time to explore other options.
New path: The void can now be filled by other people, by other plans, or by other opportunities. The sky is the limit.
Note for today: Let us be good to ourselves. We plowed through rejection. Call and schedule a facial, a massage, or order your favorite dessert. What the heck… do it all!